So I thought have a lower point total would be a problem.....

but apparently its not.  So, I lost 4.6 pounds last week and as a result I had my WW points total bumped down from 34 points to 33 points, and I really thought that it would be a problem.  That has most definitely not been the case so far this week (it is still early).

So, I live in a state that is humid to say the least (very humid for being so inland) - when it gets hot, food sounds awful to me.  I cannot explain why, but that's the way it is.  Now, this is a bad thing and not something I recommend for anyone EVER but neither my husband nor I have been able to eat dinner the last two nights.  Well that is not completely true.  We ate "dinner" tonight if you count having two small scallops a piece as dinner that we made ourselves eat even though we didn't want to. 

I went to the gym today.  Surprise! lol.  I swam laps for 45 minutes and played 1 hour and 15 minutes worth of "tennis" (you can hardly call it that as we are so terrible!).  So, I feel pretty accomplished.  I also piddled around in my little container garden out in my front yard.

Tomorrow is going to be rough - I am plotting what I'm going to eat for lunch as I am going out with some ex-coworkers to a Mexican restaurant.  I want to try to stay on plan as much as possible.  Tomorrow is a running day and I'm supposed to do arms (weight lifting) AND we have two softball games tomorrow night!  I should be a tired puppy! 

I wish I could say what is different this time in terms of my diet and exercise.  I usually do a pretty good job and then completely fall off of the boat, but this has been a good solid two months almost that I've been exercising.  Its been 7 weeks since I've drank an ounce of caffeine and I'm pretty consistently losing weight.  I feel differently this time around, but I just can't put my finger on it.  I imagine it partly has to do with our impending trip to NYC coming up in late June, probably has to do with my want to have kids and the knowledge that having kids may not be possible unless I lose some weight, and also I'd like to fit in cute clothes again.  lol.  So shallow.Have a great night all!

Major Victory

So, after my disappointing weight in last week at Weight Watchers where I was up two pounds, this week, I rocked it!  I lost.....4.6 pounds!  I did not starve myself at all (with the exception of today - long story), but I did work out 6 days last week!  I can now see why all of those super models go to the gym 24/7 - it works!  Just gotta keep on keepin' on. 

So, I didn't eat for most of today.  Why?  Well, I had my last event today with my current job and I was so nervous, I could not put anything in my body.  I woke up at 3am and couldn't get back to sleep and didn't eat or drink anything until after 2pm.  I felt terrible.  So, when I got home I ate like 3 bites of tuna salad and had some lemonade and then took a nap.  After weight watchers, I celebrated with pizza and breadsticks - oh well.  C'est la vie.  I care that I ate pizza but I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

I love weight watchers but when I inputed my new weight it was all like "Good Job, but you lost way too much weight."  Don't you judge me weight watchers - I ate my daily point totals everyday!  I'm not starving myself, I just literally worked my ass off at the gym. 

Today is going to be my day off from the gym as I had not eaten very much and I felt terrible.  Getting back on the horse tomorrow! 

yay!

This is the dream that I'm working towards!

Yay!

Even though I'm very stressed about tomorrow, I'm feeling pretty good.  I stepped on the scale today and it said....216.4.  I'm pretty happy with that right now.  I still have a day and a half until I weigh in at WW and my weight on my scale is always more than what their scale says.  This makes me feel like all of the working out is finally starting to pay off - I'm getting a better control on my eating, but I could do better - always can do better.  I'll never be satisfied until I'm super thin and eating super clean.

My husband and I had a break through last night.  We had taco night last night and in the past between the two of us we would eat this meal which was made for a family of four all by our lonesome.  Last night, I had two tacos and he had three and we put the rest away!  It was a happy day!

Random side-note: Just want to put a plug in for my favorite frozen treats - Edy's Frozen Fruit Bars.  I love the Blueberry, my husband loves the Pineapple.  They are so delicious.

Yesterday, I went to the gym - yay!  I completed Day 3, Week 1 of C25K and I was sweating up a storm.  Then I proceeded to work on my arms before heading home!

On the agenda today is tennis with my friend from Brazil (who is so beautiful and thin, it makes me want to vomit) where we just basically try to hit the ball back and forth.  Its pretty entertaining.  Later on today, I will go to the gym and swim and probably row, and do some ab work!  Gotta keep working.

I want to get thin and go back to Paris (my husband wants to go too).  I'd like to recreate this picture.  I think the composition is beautiful..

Stress

I don't deal with stress well.  Like not at all.  I tend to get silent, cry alot, and mope.  Also I like to stuff myself with food.  Today has been okay though - although my husband totally enables me and we had fat free frozen yogurt after dinner - it was delicious.

This job is terrible.  The money is great, but its most definitely not worth it which is why I'm facing unemployment in 5 weeks.

So, I'm in the middle of planning my last event, I have a board meeting in 3 weeks with a bunch of just power hungry sad human beings, I'm packing boxes for the organization for them to pick up and take to their new host school, and I'm facing unemployment.  Its a lot.  I'm being really whiny and self-indulgent right now, I know, but that's why I have this blog - to be whiny and self-indulgent.

I know that everything will work out one way or the other, but its hard when you're stuck in the middle of it.  I either can't sleep or when I sleep it isn't restful because I dream of the many different ways that everything can go wrong.

I did not work out today - still pretty sore from softball last night - so this is my day off this week.  Gotta keep working!  The scale is starting to be my friend...I can see the weight going down by ounces which I'm cool with!

Tomorrow will be a better day!


Wow!  The girl below is very inspirational!

Breakfast of Champions

Great Day Yesterday!

So, I'm trying really hard to be less negative - suffice to say that I absolutely hate my job and I'm super stressed about an event I'm hosting on Monday.


I did have a great day yesterday though.  Oatmeal for breakfast, homemade mac and cheese for lunch (cooked macaroni noodles, a smidge bit of shredded cheese, and nutritional yeast), 2 pineapple fruit bars, 8 all-natural rye chips, and for dinner tuna melts (tuna salad made with chunk light, hardboiled egg, light mayo, and relish on one piece of toasted ezekiel bread and topped with a little bit of shredded cheese.  Eating wise - not a failure!

I swam laps for about 45 minutes again yesterday, and made it like 8 minutes on the bike before I decided to say screw it for the day.  Then my husband and I played in two softball games last night - which was alot of fun!  I feel lighter - my husband keeps commenting on how much smaller I look, but the numbers just don't reflect it like they should.  That is disconcerting, and makes it difficult to push on, but I will continue!  No sense in stopping now.

On the agenda today: eating okay - doing day 3 of week 1 of c25k and some ab work.

Not starting off well on the eating front - I didn't eat any breakfast - I hope to soon rectify that situation however.  I hope everyone has a great day!

Rough Day

I had a rough day yesterday.  I binged - hard.  I ate great all day until I didn't, but instead of giving up, I've picked up the pieces and moved on.  I had Van's Organic French Toast Sticks and Sugar Free Syrup for breakfast yesterday, a hard-boiled egg as a snack, for lunch I ate 2 hot dogs (no buns) with mustard, and then after my husband left, I called Papa Johns and ordered chicken tenders and cheesesticks.  I felt horrendous afterwards - for the rest of the day, I was choking back vomit.  I did get up and go play tennis (kind of - we were just awful yesterday) for an hour with a friend, then I went to the gym and completed Day 2 of Week 1 of C25K, did some weights with my legs, and did some ab work.  I'm not happy with the diet slip-up but I am happy with my recovery and that I made myself go to the gym although I felt awful.  I'm hoping today will be a better day.  Actually, I'm not hoping.  Today WILL be a better day!

Things that I can't live without while dieting....

1. Eggs.  Love'em.  They are so versatile.  When I am craving savory food, I boil to eggs, cut them in half, add mustard and just a tad of light mayo, and voila...Deviled Eggs.  Soooo good.  I also eat egg white sandwiches pretty often.  Cheap and easy!

2. Body Fortress Protein Shake.  My trainer turned me on to this.  Now there is no excuse for me to be too busy to eat something.  Its not delicious, I'm not going to lie, but it isn't disgusting either!  I recommend the Strawberry flavored.  I typically mix one scoop with 8oz of water, stir, and chug it down.  It gets me through the rough patches.

3. Frozen Yogurt.  I live in a larger town in a rural state.  Out of no where, frozen yogurt places have been appearing!  Thank goodness!  A quarter cup (their cups are huge) of non-fat vanilla frozen yogurt with some sprinkles and fresh strawberries do the trick!

4. Fruit and Veggies, generally.  My favorite snacks!  If I'm feigning for some sweetness, I'll eat some strawberries or pineapple with either greek yogurt, cottage cheese, or the non-fat redi-whip.  Veggies are delicious - I could eat fresh cauliflower and broccoli everyday.  I just learned a great new recipe from WW with celery.  Buffalo Celery Sticks.  Take low-fat cream cheese, mix in some hot sauce, chives, and garlic, and stuff that mixture in the celery ribs.  So good!  2 pieces of celery are 1 WW point! :)

5.  Exercise - I have to push myself.  I get de-railed very easily.  If I skip a day, or don't meet my goal for the day, I will quit all together.  Not anymore.  I went to the gym 6 days last week.  I'm on day 3 this week - looking good!  I love the way I feel when I exercise - it is so hard to just make myself go especially feeling as bad about myself as I do.

6.  My husband - its great to have someone who believes in you endlessly and wants to help you reach your goals.  He is phenomenal.  :)

Motivation keeps me going....

For the moment at least.  So, I've been feeling pretty down because when I went to WW to weigh-in last night, I was up 2 lbs.  I didn't know how this was possible as I worked out 6 days last week and have been eating like a champ.  My sister who is endlessly annoying with her ability to do everything easily, is down 3.6 pounds - I'm really happy for her, but it gets me down.  I know that all I need to do is just keep working.

Last night, I did day one of week one of c25k.  I worked on my arms on weight machines for 30 minutes, spent about 10 minutes on abs, and spent 20 minutes on the rowing machine.  Tonight, I swam laps (pretty leisurely - I'm not the best swimmer) for 45 minutes and spent 20 minutes on the rowing machine.  Tomorrow night, I plan on doing day two of week one of c25k, weight lifting with focus on legs for 30 minutes, 20 minutes on abs, and ending with 35 minutes on elliptical for a grand total of 116 minutes. :)  I need to eat better though!

I started out strong: had a protein shake for breakfast (Body Fortress-Strawberry - not great, but doesn't make me vomit, so there's a plus!), Garden Broccoli Soup and 1 piece of Ezekiel Bread Toast for lunch, then I had some non-fat fro yo with fruit in the early afternoon, then blew everything out of the water with a Chicken Club Wrap (spinach wrap) and a handful of chips.  Oh well, can't be perfect all of the time - but at least I can try!

If I could just get to having a body like this:

That's the goal.

Today isn't the start of my journey, just a continuation....

This is not the beginning of my weight loss.  I've stopped and started on this journey many times.  I no longer think that quitting and re-starting is an option.  I've made all of the excuses and rationalized so many binges, and I'm done.  I've had enough. 

I wish I could tell you that I've been battling my weight my whole life, but I haven't.  This is a  pretty recent issue - since I was 21, I've been putting on weight.  I would even say that I used to be hot.  I was never the super skinny girl as I have a pretty athletic build, but I was fit with a flat stomach. 

I feel badly for my husband that he didn't know me when I was hot, but I hope to show him again.  He needs to have the wife that he deserves.  He's wonderful, and constantly tells me that he wouldn't change anything about me.  To be honest, he's pretty hot.  He's 5'11" and around 200 pounds, he's really really good-looking.  How did I (being overweight) land this guy?  Dumb luck.  We were both at the right place at the right time, and he's not like most guys.  He's not super into the superficial - I blame it on him being home-schooled (not super religious home-schooled, but athiest, hippy home-schooled).  

So, I want to wear a bikini and have a flat stomach - that's what I want.  I want to look in the mirror and not see this disgusting fat blob in front of me - and I want to do it the right way.

I'm currently doing weight watchers and its working fine for me.  In addition, I'm working out 6 days a week! I'm hoping that I can keep this up!

Here's my thinspiration for today:

Her blog is amazing and so inspirational!  Stay in the positive, all!  We can do this together!